Move away 08, come on 09

Wow.....I breaked and disappeared for a while....

Many happy and sad things waved up and down....soon it is byebye 2008 and welcome 2009...

1. He is awesome and only He can help and turn around situation - God

2. They are loving - Mum & Stepdad

3. They share the same blood - my siblings (Florence, Ricky & Sharon....not forgetting Georgie)

4. He's been with me since he was 3 or 4 yrs old - my Godson Mervyn

5. They are related - my nieces & nephews (Carolyn, Jaclyn, Shawn, Kenneth, Zachary)

6. They are my wonderful Kailuis - Hazel & Val

7. My wonderful friends - you, you, you, you, you, etc....& you....

Ok, what else to say or what's in store for 2009? Let's seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

1. Give more Thanks to Him

2. Have more quiet times with Him

3. My wonderful parents & siblings, always giving me encouragement when I am down, always sending SMS for those daily bread, so must try to spend quality time whenever possible

4. Thank my boss for holding my job still despite the economy crisis so better be nice to her

5. DIL, who is always lending her ears and sharing my sad or happy moments.

6. Save more, spend lesser....errrrrr, spend only when needed....

7. Nevertheless, need to thank my helper for easing the chores at home, and taking care of our meals

8. Pray for world peace and other's salvation

9. Good health for my family, friends and all around the globe

10. Better wisdom to handle situations

Here are the photos down in memory lane that i didn't post....

I was baptisted in ICA by Pastor Ken on August 24th. Mum, Big sister & Kenneth flew down to witness this wonderful day.

DIL, myself & Celing went for HH in Bordeaux to celebrate Celing's birthday.

He was grouchy because his owner woke him up when he was having a nap....hehe...

This plant is very unusual. I reckoned that the owner must have wired them together as it stands on 2 different pots.

Taken by me....nice, is it?.....now, i should get myself a real camera....lols

Someone commented that with this photo looking (censored ar), i can catch naive mens....hahaha....

Connie, myself and WingYan at Give Up Get Up by Nick Vujicic...Great inspiration and outreach. Many was saved! PTL......

See that little house? I think that it is still standing after more than 100 yrs on Lantau Island....My DIL doesn't know.....lols

This one kinda posed. Its nose is pinkish which reminded me of Patches.....It's probably 1 of Lantau Island's watchdog....hehehehe

These are salted eggs!! they get a good tan out in the sun. The only thing was the flies were tanning with the eggs.....yukes...

These are all twisted!! you can called this art or craziness....lols.....

And it covered the roof top too.....a closer look and you might think that snakes are there too...yikes....
This hound is so cute....so pampered....then it got tired and went back to nappy time....hehehe

You see a cat, right? well, it's feeding 1 of her kittens. But look at how protective she is. With her back ready to pounce on anyone. She was looking right to left...... And this is the first time that i saw a cat milking its kitten.....

And after a while, she decided to stop milking the little one. And we didn't noticed that there were 2 more others at the back....

A nice Christmas card from my wonderful family...of course, mummy wrote it personally....haha

A cute Panda!!! no chance for me to hug as there were kiddos around...so who will get the better chance? hehehe

Christmas carolling between Pier 5 to 6....

See the guy in red cap & blue polo....it's my favorite handsome looking pastor Ed....

1st word dawns

the 1st word that dawned :

Ahhhhhhhhh

Boring

Cat

Dimples

Eggplant

Family

God

Hahaha

Indigo

Jealous

Kite

Love

Mindao

North Pole

Ocean

Panama

Quincy

Race

Sleep

Teeth

Uniform

Victory

Work

X-ray

Yawn

Zodiac

#### it's simple yet from those words, it can tell what is really on your mind....give each alphy no longer than 5 seconds to think....

Will you be just yourself?

Here I am, yawning again and again......

oh why, do you want to follow? don't you realise that it is getting annoying? in the 1st place, you are not that person. You are who you are. Don't try to impress because it is too fake...

everyone has a personality...when there are changes, it should be the inner self. Not by acting like that person. It is different and what are you trying to prove? i don't get it....Sorry for being blunt. These are facts.

The "slap"

What a "slap" on my face. You totally misunderstood my actual concern. What is the actual point when others asked you a question like that?

We are wanting to walk this trial together but you are the one who is rejecting it. I really don't know what else I can do. In fact, I am the last person to know what is going on because I purposedly didn't want to ask you anything for the last few weeks, thinking that you will update you. But I was wrong. You became upset with others questions and also put me into the picture.

I know that you are upset about the whole issue, but WHO ISN'T? You bottled up all by yourself but it will not help.

Like I said earlier, whenever you think that you want to tell me, I'm open.

Don't be a hero by yourself. There are many others waiting with open arms to help too.

long time no see.....

haven't been blogging for more than a month....almost forgot my pw...hehehe....

yawnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn, what to write now....all seemed fine except for some fallen pieces during the month...

i'm just staring at the frame, thinking of what to tell...ok, maybe i should start about my trip home.....and what i had observed...no offences to some, it's just my thoughts about it....

Ah Bah - i am worried as he is getting forgetful. i am grateful for the help that he gave mum before. Can you all understand? stop nagging, showing faces, scolding him....we must appreciate him. At home, no one talks to him....isn't it sad? when i grow old and forgetful, i pray that i don't be in other people's way or annoy them...

Mum - rabbit will always be the rabbit...but say what we like, she is still mum. We never know what her real thoughts are. She braved many times in front but no one noticed. deep inside, she must be feeling down...she probably bypass the sadness and chose to be naive which in return posed an annoyance to some others...

Tajie - a strong pillar for the family...despite of her naughty character, she does care. Even if it meant shortening her beauty sleep, she didn't mind. Probably her approach can bring hurt to some others. Looking at the way she treats her Don-don, tajie certainly's got a soft spot for the weak...haha

Erge - NATO, still the same....I seldom interact with him over these years except now. He was nice enough to call me when i arrived home....only hope that he will spend more time with the family instead of his dogs....hehe....

Erjie - i don't know what to say but i have to respect her wishes. She doesn't want to worry others especially Peter and the kiddos. Kiddos are still kiddos...they have their own minds, not realizing the seriousness of an issue. Anyway, pray that all is fine. She needs to eat more often to build the immune and maybe bring back some weight. Not sure if she understands. Maybe she is just eating the regular meal schedule....sigh...

Carolyn - it was only a glance. It seemed like a "Hello Yiyi" and that was it. No other conversation was made. It could be my years abroad so she is not too close to me....i cannot expect too much....As long as she can look after her mum, i should be thankful...

Jaclyn - this little princess seemed to be experiencing the unwanted. Is it too much for her to take at her age? she looked strong but deep inside, I can imagine her weakness. But i believe that she can cope with those.

Shawn - huge!! saw him twice. Once downstairs while he was on his way to school and another time up at his place. We seemed like strangers....doesn't seem to have a aunty-nephew bond. Could it be that I threw my attention to Mervyn and ignore Shawn. How could i have done that? I should have been fair to all my nephews and nieces....

Mervyn - From a very tiny boy, he now overtook my height...hahaha....I remembered how he used to massage my head when having headaches....he was a smiley boy...I want him to be happy and smile more...He would run from the elevator to my place and with the sweet cute voice, he would popped his head and say : Gan Ma.......hohohoho....memory lane...

Kenneth - big boy now....i cannot imagine how we used to fight when he was a boy...yes, i was jealous of this baby...hahahaha.....grandparents doted on him so much....i hope that he will return them with gratitude....they were always protecting him.

Zachary - chubby looking boy....he is really nice deep down. Get to know him, and you will agree. Those games played together with Tajie and him was simply hilarious....and the amount of sweets we got, it is enough to filled 3 bags!

wow, it is 10.30pm and i'm still here.......good thing is a holiday tomorrow.....i want to slack.....hahahahhahaha

haven't written about some others yet...will do so another time....

Right Here With You

"Don't give up, here we are, and if you need a helping hand, we're gonna be right here with you.
You're not alone, we have been there too, we understand what you go through, we wanna be right here with you....."

I recorded some 20 something songs specially for No.4....these songs will help her thru this trial.....These songs were pre-listened, going thru lyrics after lyrics, to ensure that these are the suitables.....


I am going home to spend quality time even though it is a short trip. I can make more trips. I want to forget about work for now and think more for my family.

Over the recent months, I learnt to be more independant than before. I realized that I can be alone enjoying without that special person around. That special person no longer hold my candle and vice visa. Give me more time and I can confirm it definite.

Ah, got to buy some Chocopie for the kids....How many boxes? What else? No need for big coin chocolates, so what to buy??? hmmmmmmmm........got to think fast, haven't got much time to shop around....hehehehe......

Yawn, I didn't sleep well due to the thunder and lightning....I shall get a eye mask soon....hahahaha....

I am hungry nowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww..........it's mum mum time! yippee!

An encouragement for No.4 - Sharon Chan

When we feel we have nothing left to give, and we are sure that the song has ended. When our day seems over and the shadows fall and the darkness of night has descended. Where can we go to find the strength, to valiantly keep on trying? Where can we find the hand that will dry, the tears that the heart is crying?

There's but one place to go and that is to God, and dropping all pretense and pride, we can pour out our problems without restraint, and gain strength with Him at our side. And together we stand at life's crossroads and view what we think is the end, But God has a much bigger vision, And He tells us it's only a bend.

For the road goes on and is smoother, and the pause in the song is a rest, and the part that's unsung and unfinished, is the sweetest and richest and best.
So rest and relax and grow stronger ...Let go and let God share your load. Your work is not finished or ended ...You've just come to a bend in the road.

Sis, you are 1 of God's precious child....Go to Him....Only He can help....Only thru Him, you will find peace, comfort.....Only thru Him, you can be healed....

08242008

This is the day that The Lord Hath Made for me. I was finally baptisted in ICA.

Appreciate lots for coming to witness this day, my thanks goes to :

God, Mum, Florence, Kenneth, Cynthia, Ina, Clinton, Sandy, Nancy, Carolyn, Celing, Vivien, Bernard, Connie, Donna, Margaret, Elaine, WW, Ben, Millie, Sheila, Hui Hui, Simon, Rani, Linda, Ken, Amanda...oops, who else? Yes, and all at home.....

New life, new beginning.....God will be the footprints in the sand....

I had a big bag of goodies flown from home. Yummy stuff! Thanks family!!

Day by day

Even after a week's stay, there are still roaches!!! why why why? the fumigation was done but seemed that it is not working.....I wonder......

I had a good cry last sunday. I had never experienced such...I really sobbed...My face towel was soaked.....I need Him so badly. I need Him to carry me one more time. The message was clear : Live life deeply, Live my day as it is the last....

Day by day, I am beginning to understand God and His purpose. Day by day, I am learning. Day by day, I long to be nearer to Him. Day by day, I sang until my tears are formed. Day by day, I understand why He had to die for us. Day by day, I grew a little understanding, a little learning, a little nearer......

I come to understand that obstacles will make me stronger. I must thank Him, not blame Him. He has been molding me all these while. He is the footprints in the sand...

I got myself a nice speaker for the nano which I intend to use it for the room. It is reasonable and that is why I decided to buy. My curtains are customed made and already paid, so that is another debt off my list....

I am getting excited about my room. I want it to be as cosy as ever....I must write down my wish list for my friends.....hehehehe....

Bed, bed, are you ready yet? I cannot wait to sleep on you!!!

Did you notice my new song for my blog?

weekend mess

The house is in a total mess....and manifested with roaches!!!!!! We fumigated but still there are plently...excuse me, we are not talking about 1 or 2, easily can find up to 100 roaches just yesterday!!! YUKES YUKES YUKES......i will show you the pictures taken on saturday only when we went there to put down some things.....i hate it!!!!!! So you can imagine what we got from yesterday's.....YELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.....

see the roaches....even those tiny spots are the babies....!!!!

sigh....i was greeted by dead ones at the door

1 side of the living room

the window side had more too!

the kitchen!!

my room

even had 1 in my drawer!!!!

the master room.....i really don't want to post any of these anymore....the toilets were worst!! i think that it is enough to puke you thru....


On the whole, the house itself is nice. We are still trying to fix things soonest.....

i gotta go....need to finish work and get a new bed...Yes, new bed...why? just because the elevator cannot fix in my previous one....so now i have to spend $$$$$$ instead of saving for better usage...Sigh.......

anyway, we kinda celebrated Nancy's birthday, dinner was fine, the cake was even fantastic!!

the yummilicious blueberry cheese cake.....

sandy, nancy and carolyn

so alone

I am alone, so very alone,
I am hurt, so very bad,
I am ignored, just thrown aside,
There is no one close, no one sees the pain,
I cry, my hope is gone.

I don't know how long I can carry on. This is mental torture. I tried and tried but I just cannot make myself to be strong. I have toppled, real badly and what else can I say but THANK YOU.

I hate you for driving me into a corner. I hate you for putting me in a spot. I hate you for making me cry so much each day. Never was a day that I am smiling now. Never was a day that I am happy as before. I hate you for turning my life down, so down....

My heart ache each day. I pray for healing to take its place soonest otherwise, I will go crazy.

My letter

Dariela suggested that I write a card or letter. In fact, I was planning to but was afraid that my Spanish wasn't broad enough to express....So I decided to write in English, sent to Mayde & Dariela and they can pass to the family.....Here it goes, written in 30 mins as they were preparing for the mass :

"I am at loss of words. My heart broke into pieces when I learned of the sudden, unexpected passing of Gustavo, and I cannot imagine the depth of all your sorrows. I wish I had words to comfort and sustain you all in your grief, but I know there are none that will take away any pain you all are feeling now.

My heart aches for you all, and my arms long to embrace you all. Although Gustavo is no longer physically present, it doesn't mean you all cannot continue to love him in his absence. The precious memories you all have of him will bring you all comfort.

Please accept these words as my warm hugs to wrap yourselves in, and know that I am holding you all in my heart at this sad and difficult time. It would be so much better if I could convey my condolences in person. But at the very least right now, I want you all to know that I am out here and my thoughts and prayers are with you all at this sad and difficult time.

Gustavo is and will always be living in my heart. He will always be my brother from Panama. There are many more to speak of this wonderful brother...A brother so caring, so loving without any conditions and without any favors. I will keep all the beautiful memories we had shared.


Please let me know if there is anything I can do. You can call Mayde or Dariela and they will know how to contact me. Please don't hestitate...

Wishing you all peace and healing,
Corrine Chan"

Gustavo Carcamo - 5/8/72 to 7/18/08

Age 36 years....Gus finally left and went back home. An offline message from Dariela plus 2 emails from kclatinamerica left me stunned and tears formed up instantly. I cannot believe what i am reading. Just last week, I was planning for my vacation in Panama but now, it has gone down....all dashed......all dashed...

Gus was a brave man. Even though he was in pain, he still makes it a point to laugh or giggle during our phone calls. He is in Heaven now where there is no pain. I will miss him lots....His only concern was Andreita. Young at probably 5 or 6 years now, she doesn't understand. Even though Gus only get to see her once a week, the both of them have this special bond. Andre was his sunshine.

Close friends in Panama knew that Gus was more than a brother to me. He was 1 of my special. We even talked about getting married in the future so that i can stay on in Panama. Gus thought that it was a good idea too.

Images of him started flashing across my head. I cannot understand why Gus had to go, but this is God's will and no one can stop Him. Apparently, Gus cannot see, he lost his appetite. His family brought him to the hospital whereby doctors sedated him. And that was it! Gus just left by dawn. The full details of his passing is not clear.

Spoke to Big sis, Florence.....broke down terribly. Flo said that Gus must be such an important person in my life otherwise, i won't be crying hard. Flo reminded me that he is back whereby there are no more suffering. I know, i know that clearly. I am just too emotional. I cannot cope such departing.

i asked God : teach me the way, why do i have to go thru all these pains and hurt. why is happiness 35% while sadness is 65%? I have many whys for God. I didn't get angry, i just need to learn more about His will.

i cannot write anymore........my eyes are forming so much water....

RIP Gus.....you are always in my little space.....i love you....

Friday - movie time again

Ah, we are going for the movie The Dark Knight. AE's got good promotion, 1 for 1, that is great savings....

i visited a "night club" yesterday. Lols........aunties & uncles are waltzing their way around and around the dance floor until i felt giddy....apparently, it is the trend over here. Ballroom vs Disco.....hahahahaha......but i disliked the way those guys swayed their butts. I don't find it natural....some of them are stiffed like a stick!!!! can't they learn more first before swaying????
i guess that i will take up this course. First of all, i need my dancing shoes....

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz, i'm snacking away while blogging....hehehehe...bad for me but give me a break ok......

write more later.....work is still hanging up here....YELLLLLLLLLLLLLL

Sunny days?? or Rainy days??

it's been a week since we moved to TW. We experienced more rain than before. More thunders, more lightnings....Just like in Panama.



i'm counting days to move to the permanent place in 3 weeks. Not because i don't like this temporary place, this is a superb place! Transport is convenient, facilities are great too. I just want to settle down soonest....

i learnt some basic exercises from an ex-national champion. although it is simple, i can still sweat out from it. i must get those weight straps....

oh, i bought some sale stuffs from FCUK...most of them are dark colors. Good thing i made sure that i tried every piece, then shortlisted them in the fitting room...heheheheheh...i ended up with just 4 pieces...

Ah, i got to watch Panda Kungfu at AMC...i love the huggy looking panda...so cute....the expressions, the actions, the naive questions reminded me & cyn so much of SLIM.....do you think so?? lols....

Good week ahead, my friends....

i am going to rest my aching body now....

lazy post

see caption, too busy to writeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

mambo night! let's do it again, this time i will wear spag!!! the others went to rumba!!! it was super packed! and the AC broke down, it was pouring.....wet wet wet....

that's cyn, me and wy

me & cyn

make peace not war

my new friend, MEOW......

Meow in between......

He just wanted to play.....

i know that you've got nice bright eyes Meow!

Mysterious Meow

Bye CWB, Hi TW

yesterday was my 1st night in TW. Surprisingly, i didn't CWB at all....I only took video of that place before moving out.....

Ok, the temporary place is not that bad, quite breezy because of the rain/winds....only thing is the space. sleeping is a nightmare becos i have the sofa bed upright and i was afraid that it might topple onto me while i am sleeping...yikes....i will try to snap photos and you will share my fears...

the uprighted sofa.....

the heavy chair is the only item that can hold the sofa at its side

my luggage that contains 5 weeks of barangs that i will need....lols

the other room! we have no space and now the drying and hanging is here!! terrible!

there ain't any space! don't talk about unpacking!

this is only part of the mess!

those racks are stuffed and we cannot even bring any of the racks out to use in case the boxes topples....

more......

*******************************************************
many things happened during these few months. I am beginning to feel shagged, weary, lost...Am i afraid of ending up feeling lonely? Is this the right path? how could it had happen? how come i don't see it coming? what else can i do? it is the same in all my past relationships, the story line ends up the same!! is this suppose to be the end of the story book and not the usual "they live happily ever after"???

i must learn to accept reality. it will take time to heal especially when we are xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx........SIGH, who can understand my aching heart?

my heart aches so much one more time....why am i dropping tears again?

Oldies with memories

listening to oldies brought memories of G.....somehow, these songs back tracked my younger days....i miss you lots....i really do...I remembered how we watched movies together....We ate junks, we skated, we fight, we argue.....

recalling those years, you were actually a gentle person. You were always the first one to asked me if i had my meal. When i was losing weight at 1 stage, you were also the first one who told me to watch myself. When i was down, you were there sharing your thoughts. I never thanked you personally.

i remembered when you held my hand in the ICU tightly. I held back my tears. When you couldn't talk with tubes in the mouth, you scribbled on the board. Even though it wasn't clear, we tried to read what you wanted to say.

i left some messages on your msn sometimes. It is just to tell you that i miss you. I know that you are no longer suffering but honestly, i still cannot face the fact that you are not here anymore. I do have tears flowing down. I am so emotional.

you know what, i have a friend who looks like you. The way he sits, the way he dresses. I was so tempted to take the photo but i didn't get that chance. He tilts his head too just like you. Even his built is the same. See the photo below :)

really looks like Gege....
********************************************************************
the apartment lease is up and I am moving this weekend to a temporary place for 5 weeks. After that, i will move again to a semi permanent place. This is so tiring. I will be away from the crowded busy city. It doesn't matter.....up to now, we had packed 21 cartons, and more to come and we only have 30 cartons from the movers. SCREAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM...

But of course, I do have wonderful friends around. 1 of them even wanted to loan me a TV!! Wow!...

thanks Friends!

Yawnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn, goodnight....

Oh, we had such nice Japanese food and great Sake with Angel, Celing & Cynthia. Thanks for the treat.

I had many wishes this year. And I received a beautiful Wedgewood bookmark from Jenny. A cute cake from Angel. I will post the cake when i get back to the office.... And this morning, i have a surprise present from DIL too..
My surprised cake from Angel!!! this is the one that i saw together with Beverley & Ada somewhere in early june. But Angel doesn't know about it and so this is a nice surprise....

that's angel on the left, me, cynthia & margaret

My gift from DIL.......i like the title "never grow weary".....DIL seems to know my deep within...

I hope to write more, but i will be without the internet for the next 2 months!!!!!